Bizarre Bradyisms

I Don’t Know

One night this past week I was bored and missing the young and exciting college life that I had grown accustomed to over the past few years.  So, to remedy the situation, I went out and bought a book.  I drove down to Barnes and Noble and purchased a book I had seen my roommate reading this past summer entitled, “Tuesdays with Morrie.”  I read close to half of it within about an hour before I ended falling asleep, but enjoyed it thoroughly.  There were so many good thoughts, quotes, and ideas that were shared in there that it caused me to think about my current status in life and the ambitions I was pursuing.  One that is repeatedly mentioned in the story is, “Love each other or perish.”  I know now as I type this that it doesn’t resonate quite the same way without the background to explain the context of the quote, but it touched me.  In fact, the whole book touched me.  The weird part is, I don’t know why.  I would consider myself a fairly stable, happy person with a lot going for myself, but sometimes I wonder if it will ever be enough.  I feel like something is missing.  Now, the obvious response to that question is that maybe someone is missing.  I don’t know.  I just don’t know.  Why don’t I know?

On another thought, I’ve realized how difficult it is to go back to school and study once you’ve already left.  I have a really great job and things are going well.  I know I have to and I really want to be able to finish my degree at some point in the near future, but I have no idea how I am going to make that happen.  Part of me doesn’t want to loose a lot of school credit that I’ve earned at BYU if I transfer to another school, but the other part of me doesn’t want to have to deal with living in Provo again.  I’ve got some Cisco certifications I should be working on and I’ve got most of the equipment to make it easy to study on my own, but there is little external motivation pushing me to actually do it.  Only now do I see how easy it is for people to just accept where they are in life and keep doing the same thing over and over again without any desire to better themselves.  That is not what I want, but I fear that is what I am becoming.  What is the secret to overcome that?  I don’t know.  I just don’t know.  Why don’t I know?

 I attended stake conference with my family today because a general authority of the Church, Elder Hales, was going to be there.  For me it was really strange going back and seeing so many familiar faces of leaders and people whom I grew up with still doing what I always remembered them doing.  What do I mean by that?  I guess I am just amazed by people who were still striving to make the lonely and struggling feel comfortable just as they did so many years ago.  You’d think they would be tired by now.  The leaders were still helping to create, build, and instill testimonies of righteousness in the youth of today.  The choir who gave it their all as they performed so marvelously to share their knowledge of, praise, and love towards God.  In fact, I even cried a tear or two or three as I was sitting there thinking about all of this.  It was a good cry.  It had been awhile.  I needed it.

I was able to baby sit my niece Kambria last night.  She was quite upset with me when she realized that her Mom and Dad weren’t there and on several occasions started to cry and went to look out the window hoping to see them come up the walkway.  However, every few minutes she would calm down and let me hold her in my arms to feed her a bottle before going to sleep.  It was great.  Such serene peace.  Such a calming experience.

Now, I am going to apologize to my future self for being so unorganized with my thoughts tonight and being in such a lethargic mood, but sometimes you just want to talk out loud and when there is no one you can listen, writing it all out is the only prescription.  (The rhyme there was completely unintentional.)

Random Thoughts

When I was kid, the inner city of downtown was inhabited by the poorer, lower-class people while the suburbs of the city were home to the upper-class.  Now, as an adult, I’ve realized that those roles have switched completely.  Now, downtown is a fairly nice place to live where only the rich are able to afford a house or apartment and the lower-class are moving out to the suburbs.  This seems like a strange oddity.  I wonder if this cycle has occurred before?

Why do some people think they are inherently better than other people and can do as they please?  I was waiting in line outside and saw this car pull up to the curb and park right next to this sign that clearly said, “No Parking – Fire Zone.”  I watched him get out and get in line behind me.  I would have loved to politely say something to him, but he was a fairly large, intimidating person.  Most likely, nothing would have happened had I said anything, however, it wasn’t worth the risk.

Should I be nervous to walk out of a Walmart and be able to easily count no less than 24 cameras mounted on the top of the store watching my every move? 

I rarely eat fast food, but the other day after being frustrated with an employee I came to the conclusion that employees should required to frequently stand outside by the drive through speaker and listen to how difficult it is to understand what they are saying when they don’t speak clearly.  Maybe then they would open their mouths when they talk.  But then again, how much can you expect for $6 an hour?

Three Years

After having realized it a day or two ago, I was recently reminded that today is the three year mark since I have been back home in the country after having served a mission.  Three years.  Three years.  I’m hoping that if I repeat it enough times that the shock effect those two words have on me will somehow slowly diminish.  No luck yet, I’ll let y’all know if and when it does.  Overall, it has been a good three years.  They most definitely have not been perfect and while I have had my fair share of ups and downs, times of laughter and sadness, frustration and joy, I can’t say that I regret any of it.  In short, I am where I am today because of who I am.  Similarly, I was watching Spider-man 3 this week because it came out on DVD and I was thinking about how drastically my life has changed in the 5 months that have passed since I saw the same film in the theatres with my previous employers, co-workers, and the then wishful-to-girlfriend.  It just doesn’t seem real sometimes and now I really understand now when my parents used to say how quickly time flies as you get older.  Well, enough reminiscing.

I’ve been at my new job for just over a week now (8 working days in total) and while it isn’t perfect, it is much better than where I was before at before I quit.  I actually feel useful and my employer is asking me to start thinking about how he can utilize me and my skill-set to grow the business.  I like feeling needed.  It’s nice.  However, it seems to me that if you are going to hire somebody then you are going to have a specific need for that person to fill.  In other words, when I come to work, I want to hit the ground running and then just keep going.  I have yet to find an employer like that and I guess I am just crazy to think that such could even be the case.  I do like the fact that these guys were ready for me, they had a laptop for me, paperwork ready to be filled out, a whole company (~10 people) lunch outing in my honor, and within a few days a cell phone for me to use.  (I do have to admit that I was enjoying not having to carry around a cell phone for the past two months, but I’ll survive.

Halloween came and went without a whole lot of fanfare.  I did attend a ward event the weekend before the 31st and with the help of a good friend, carved a pumpkin which was later named Randall.  (He has since been cooked and consumed.)  On the actual evening of Halloween, I went to a friend’s house and watched an old black-and-while film entitled, “Wait Until Dark.”  A good flick if you ask me, plus, there was this crazy, unexpected part at the end that made me and everyone else in the room  humorously jump and flail their arms and legs. 

This past weekend, I was working on finishing the cabling job at my house I had previously started and while finally finishing off the work for that day, I slipped off of the the plank I was using to stand on in the attic and punched a whole in the ceiling below me with my knee.  I was quite upset.  So know there was this huge whole in the ceiling and insulation coming down onto the carpet a huge mess.  So, with the help of my Dad, it was nailed close until the next week.  To make a somewhat long story short, when the time approached to fix it, it was a huge mess.  By 8:00 AM we were at Home Depot buying sheet rock and other materials and then spent the next 6 hours trying to get everything done.  I had a date to go on at 3 and the hole in the ceiling was still there by 2.  I had to call it quits and leave my Dad to finish up what he could.  In the end, everything worked out well, but I think I sucked a good chunk of my Father’s energy from him because of all of the involved labor.  So, thanks Dad.  You’re the best.

So, for this date I had, I drove down to her place and then we took the light rail up to downtown Denver (that phrase sounds a bit funny) to visit the Art Museum there.  Every first Saturday of the month, admission is free, and well worth the added effort to make it there on that day.  The museum just recently (~1 year or so, maybe?) added an entirely new wing to the building which is just a magnificent piece of architectural art itself.  From within the museum, the exhibits were great and fun to kind of laugh and jeer at, in a non-condescending fashion of course.  My favorite two piece were in the contemporary section right next to each other which I thought was odd.  One was a large (5 x 10 feet) canvas that had nothing a short snippets or paragraphs of random thought that the artist had had organized in the this really cool design.  I was afraid to take pictures because I was not sure if that was even allowed, so I’ll have to see if I can get an example of his work from elsewhere to put on here.  The other favorite of mine was this naked lady (you don’t see anything inappropriate) laying face down on a bed listening to a radio that is sitting across the room from her on a table or desk.  The cool part about it was that there were actually three separate frames set next to / in front of each other to complete the whole piece that included only the necessary or important factor of the work.  Hard to explain, but neat nonetheless.

After that, I attempted to go to the Denver Public Library (I had never been before), but after having arrived on the third floor by walking up the non-functioning escalators, I found out from a less-than-friendly security officer that the library was closed.  Oh well.  Maybe next time.  Then had dinner at Hard Rock Cafe which was alright.  Good food, not great.  And while I know the atmosphere is supposed to be like that, the music was just a bit to loud for me and her both.  We then walked down 16th Street Mall and into Larimer square.  With a slight breeze here and there, It was a beautiful night.

Today, my Aunt and Uncle (Mother’s sister) were in town for a separate family event and seeing that not many of the extended family would be together this year for Thanksgiving, it was decided to have an early, mini-Thanksgiving dinner.  Turkey, stuffing, pie and all.  It was good food, but I had to eat real quick and then go to my Sunday sacrament meeting.  While Wikipedia might say otherwise, a piece of advice in case you didn’t already know: Don’t eat turkey and then try and stay awake through a fast and testimony meeting.  That tryptophan from the turkey will really throw you for a number. 

PS – This photo has no real explanation besides the fact that my mother deserves a picture of her on here.  It is merely her taking advantage of the fact that my Dad was out of town on business and she had wanted to paint this wall for a while now.  All I can say is that it looked good in the end.