Bizarre Bradyisms

The End Is Near

It is Tuesday morning and I am preparing to head off to the library for the final time this semester.  Consequently, it is also only the 5th time this year, 4 of which have been during the past week.  In other words, my life has recently envolved into a series of cram sessions:  I study for about 3-4 hours per test, and then go and perform a brain dump, hoping for the best.  The best part is that on the multiple choice tests, I don’t even look at the score as I walk out the door.  Just think, it is a way to create a surprise for yourself in about 2 weeks.  Overall, I’m excited to be done.  I think I’ve come to the point where I’ve done the best I can, and after that, I just don’t care.  I know it is not the best attitude, however, that is the way it is.

I think I have about an 85% chance that I will improved my grades enough so that they will not kick me out of school, but being the extremely analytical person that I am, I have examined the idea what happens if not.  If that happens, three possibilities have crossed my mind: 

• Wait the requiered 1 year during which I can work full-time (maybe Salt Lake) and study my Cisco exams like I have wanted to for a year and then finish my degree.
• Transfer up to Utah University and see if I can get done quicker there.  I have mixed emotions about this option because it scares me to think that I would have to re-establish my life all over again for a small time-period.  For those you know me, it takes me a good 1+ years to feel comfortable in new surroundings and I don’t know if I could handle that right now.  On the plus side, I don’t think I fit into the BYU crowd very well, and this change might be better than I imagine.
• Move to Colorado and go to school there.  This is the least likely.  I love my family and it would be great to live close to them all again, but I don’t think I could handle living with my parents again.  (No offense Mom and Dad).  I know I could rent out apartment there too, but whats the point?

So, a lot of decisions are waiting for me right now and although I should be more concerned, I’m not.

On Friday, I got talked into going to a formal(ish) masquerade dance party in American Fork where we all got dressed up in masks and everything.  It took us a good 15 minutes to find place because either the address was incorrect or Goolgle Maps let us down once again.  I think for 99.999% of the people there it was great, but for me it was so akward that words cannot describe.  I have always know that I was not a dancer, but I figured I would give it shot.  Bad idea.  I am still haunted (4 days later) by my own memories of how inadequacies in the department of knowing how to “move it.”  Additionally, I think I kind of unofficially got set-up with Kyle’s girlfriend’s sister Brittany and probably made it all the more akward for her as well becuase of my lacking self-confidence.  (For those that were involved there, sorry about that.)  The more I think about it, I realized that everybody has things they are good at, places where they feel comfortable, and places where they do not.  Dances are one of mine.  However, I have entertained and think I could enjoy a “real” dance where two people come together and swing dance, or the waltz, etc.  BUT, let’s not talk about that right now.

On to more cheerful thoughts… I had a dinner party over here on Sunday night with a number of friends and it was great. I made some good sweet and sour chicken (like the stuff you find at Panda express) and some home-made cheese fondue while Josh whipped up some fried rice with veggies and some Jello.  There was punch, asparagus, and good company.  While cooking, I mentioned that I want to do this more often because I enjoy it so much.  To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I had a meal sitting down at a table (with place setting and a table cloth and everything) when it wasn’t Christmas or Thanksgiving.  Good times.

I got a call towards the end of the other week from a consulting company I interviewed with last summer.  They asked me what I was doing and I responded by saying that really liked my job right now because of the incredible flexibility and the small buisness atmosphere, but would at least entertain the option of something new if they could offer something worth-while where I could be more challenged and appropriately compensated.  They asked for an updated resume, and so I will put that together and forward it to them here in the next little bit. 

The past two weeks I have had some really good phone conversations with my parents about life, the univserse, and everything.  For me, it has been out of the ordinary because usually I can’t make a phone converstation last over 30 minutes, but both of these were over an hour (a new personal record).  They seem to be doing well, but staying as busy as ever, even though they only have one child at home they have to provide for.  I wonder if life ever slows down?  I always assumed that at around 20 years old until 50 life got crazy at an at exponential rate and then mellowed out following a logarithmic pattern, but it appears I might have been mistaken.  Not sure if I am up to that.  Only time will tell. 

Now, I don’t want to create any uncessary concern or attention, but during the past month or so I have been thinking about my life.  I know I’ve got things going well for me.  I’ve got a good job, a few close friends, and a really nice apartment with lots of “toys.”  But, I’m not happy.  I keep trying ways to be, like buying more kitchen tools or reading more books, but to no avail.  There are good days where I get up and take one step after another working through daily complications that everyone struggles with, but then there are bad days.  And when I say bad days, boy do I mean bad days.  Almost to the point where I wonder if I am dealing with an accute form of clinical depression.  The crazy thing is that I’ve gotten really good at pretending (or lying, which ever word you prefer) because those who are around me probably can’t tell the difference.  As previously stated, I do not, repeat, do not want people to be concerned, but I believe that merely having written it and admiting it is a placed to start and figure out where to go from here. 

Enough of that, school is calling, for the last time in awhile, and I must entertain its beckon once more.  The end is near.

Made me laugh

So I saw this image on a website I frequent and I really enjoyed it.  Perhaps I was just in a wierd mood, but it took a good 2 minutes for me to get ahold of myself and calm down.  Here it is for everyone to enjoy. 

PS – I won’t get upset if you don’t laugh, just in case you are wondering.

It just so happens…

There is something about writing a journal:  When you can still remeber the details of a particular event, you tend to claim that they aren’t important enough to write down, but then when you forget about them two weeks later, you really wish you would have taken the 1/2 to at least make some mention about it.  In retrospect, it has been about 3 weeks since I really added anything here and a lot of it has already been misplaced in the depths of my mind.  So, the next couple of ideas may seem scattered and have no real meaning or value, but hey, its what I got.

It was general conference about two weeks ago and because I live in Utah, I can merely turn on the TV and watch all four general sessions that are broadcast on Saturday and Sunday.  This meant there were no church meetings to attend on Sunday and having not had classes on Thursday or Friday, I was able to get away with not shaving for five days.  It was great.  Now, it probably isn’t a great idea to flaunt that type of information around, but for me, I felt like the planets had somehow aligned and allowed me a number of consecutive days where having facial hair would not be a problem.  Knowing me, what did I do?  Yes, I took a picture.

On Wednesday night, I came home from class extremely hungry and had this crazy urge for what I have come to know as “scones.”  I looked up the recipe in my trusty Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, but their definition of scones was vastly different from what I knew them to be.  Good thing telephones exist, because I then called my Mom who then read me the recipe outloud.  Nothing can compare to a mother with years of experience cooking and a wealth of information within her reach.  The honey drips so elequently into the various crevices of each piece.  Try as you may, but your fingers cannot avoid involving themselves in the pleasure that occurs as you attempt to consume each one with careful modesty.  In other words, they turned out good.

I don’t know why, but for some reason or another, I recently decided to work on having my own food storage here at the apartment.  The excuse for not having one before was because as a student I never had room to put it anywhere, but since my current apartment more than allows me that comfort, I figured, “Why not?”  Plus, as a kid, I really liked the fact my Mom always had tons of stuff in our basement for the family’s food storage and whenever I needed something to eat, a stroll down to our version of a grocery store usually solved that problem.  So, over the past month or so, I have been buying about twice as much of what I really need and placing the extra into the closet I use for all of my computer equipment.

Easter was good.  I can’t say that I went all out and bought myself an easter basket or took the time to dye eggs, but, I enjoyed the weekend nonetheless.  I knew my sister and her husband were coming to town for the weekend, so I planned ahead to have my work schedule to place me in Salt Lake on Friday afternoon so that I could meet them at my Grandmother’s house and spend that night and the next morning with them.  Also, they brought their baby girl with them as well so it was great to be able to see and play with her too.  We all went and saw the new Joseph Smith film in the Legacy theatre on Temple Square because none of us had seen it before.  Normally, I don’t get too excited about church films, but I have to say that this one was very well done.  It had a specific story to tell, and a certain type of audience for which it was intended and it I believe that it accomplished both. 

Somewhat on the same topic, some of Eliza and Bryan’s old friends met up with us as well and all nine of us went out to dinner a Cafe Rio to celebrate my Aunt’s birthday who was there too.  The akward part is that by the end of the evening I had surrendered my phone number to Eliza’s friend who intended to set me up with her sister sometime this summer.  The different part about it though is that the sister went through a divorce fairly recently because her husband was a jerk and she is raising her two children alone.  I’m not saying that it is a problem or that I won’t give it shot, but, it will be different when the time comes to cross that bridge.

I brought Eliza and Bryan down to Provo and showed off my “bachelor pad” with all of my toys and decorations and whatnot before dropping them off at Bryan’s sister’s house so the could attend her baby’s blessing the next day.

On Sunday, after attending only the first meeting at church, we both came home and started cooking for a dinner that one of our previous roommates had invited us to.  He cooked up crazy good scalloped potatoes and fruit filled jello while I worked on a bannana creme pie, some dinner rolls, and a velveeta cheese dip.  We went there around 5:30 and simply enjoyed each other’s company.  In fact, we liked it so much, we both decided to host and have dinner parties more often.

This is the last week of classes and cram time has almost arrived.  I think I will make it through without any casualties this time around, and it was just in time too.  I don’t know how much more of it I could handle.  If I can merely make it through my all of my finals and shoot for C’s overall, everything will be fine. 

With springtime, comes the season of new life.  Trees are blossoming, flowers are blooming, and everything else changes from a barren wasteland of emptiness to a beautiful, pleasent environment where everything appears to be happy and hints at the idea that everything is smiling at you.  Whenever a person mentions the various senses that we have as human beings, most of us automatically think of touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste.  However, biologically speaking, taste and smell are really the same thing.  (If you don’t believe me, plug your nose and try to taste anything.  It won’t work).  So do we really only have four senses?  Some may argue yes, but I still think that the sense of smell deserves to be classified as one of its own.  Why?  I think of the joy I find in scent of someone working on a masterpiece in the kitchen (myself included).  I recall the stench of a dirty house and how uncomfortable I feel when I am there.  I recognize the intense power that a scented flower can have on a person to be more gentle and kind.  If it were up to me, the sense of smell should never be undervalued.

In Spanish class, we have been studying the Mexican author Rosario Castellanos and one of her works is entitled “Costumbres Mexicanas” (Mexican Tradicions).  We read it in class and my professor presented it very well and suggested the we keep a copy of it on hand for personal reference.  It talks about the intricacies and difficulties of married life as well as the troubles divorce can cause and sometimes solve.  He suggested that we read it after having been married for 3 years, 5 years, and 7 seven years.  I make mention of it here, only as a reminder to myself to do so, and for those of you who can read Spanish, I suggest you peek at it sometime as well.

Well, like I mentioned at the beginning, this was somewhat random and not very fluid, but they are just a few things I felt like writing and sharing.  Take it for what you want.