Bizarre Bradyisms

The responsibility…

I am pretty much a sucker for the TV show “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” Now granted, it is intended to be a feel good show and one could only expect people to enjoy watching it because of the emotions that come with it. Notwithstanding, there are not many things in this world that can make me shed a few tears, but more often than not, this turns out to be one of them. You see families that have so much physical need in their lives, yet they appear to be happier than most. Then, out of nowhere and within a weeks time, they have a new house to have and be together in and to enjoy with each other. And on top of that you see so many people willing to give up their time and contribute to such a great cause. I don’t believe that there are words to describe how great it is. This week there was a quote shared by a family who lost their father to cancer who often stated, “There is a lot to think about, but nothing to worry about.” I don’t know why hit me so hard, but it true, we are constantly going to have things to think about, but if we do our best, we really should not have to worry. If nothing else, that’ll help you sleep a little better tonight.

While I’m in the mood to share quotes, there is another one that has been on my mind this week. “The responsibility should be motivation enough.” Okay, I think I actually made that one up myself after hearing a phrase similar to it in a conversation, but still. I’ve been struggling to get myself to make it through school in the past number of weeks and I have made some mistakes and decisions that were most definitely not very wise which I probably will not be able to fix and forget about, but thinking about how much of my future depends on what I am doing during this time in my life should be able to motivate me to do that which is required of me. Getting myself to act upon that is going to be hard, but now that I have found my motivation, I would expect it to be at least a little more easier.

So my brother Colin received his mission call at this end of this past week. I guess all of the family came down on Friday to open it with him and I was on speaker phone as he read it out loud. And so, Mendoza, Argentina is where he will be spending the next 24 months of his life. Congratulations Colin! I am so excited for you. There is nothing so hard and nothing so worth while that you have yet done in your life that can compare to what you will experience. Plus you and I will both be able to talk up a storm in Spanish. As I think about it, I can still remember opening my call. When you read those first few lines from the Prophet, as great and as wonderful as they sound, they will continue to influence your life from here on out in ways that you cannot begin to imagine. You’ll do great. I know it. I love you.

I have wanted to hand Christmas lights on my apartment ever since I got to Provo and until yesterday had yet been able to do so. I was thinking how great it was going to be this year because I actually have condo that I can do something to, but then I realized, the roof is two stories off of the ground, and I don’t have access to ladder to get on the roof. My plans had been foiled. Almost. I have come close to giving up on wish, but then decided to just hang the lights on the top of my back porch fence. It is not quite the same thing as a completely decked out house, but it’ll have to do.

School is almost over for the semester, something like 3 weeks left and this next week is only two days long. I get to fly home and see the family again for something like 5 days. I’m pretty excited really. I even think my sister Eliza as a blind / double date / evening out thing planned for me with someone she knows from CSU. Hey, I need all the help I can get in that department, so I’m not complaining.

To finish it all off with, today was ward conference at church and the stake leadership was there to teach us. It was really good in fact. I even think I am going to ask the stake president if I can have a copy of his notes that he used. There is not much that I can really share about what as said, but suffice it to say that it was a much needed change of pace. Now please, don’t interpret this wrong, but going to church recently has become such a bore. I don’t feel like I’m learning a whole lot and I swear every lesson seems to be about dating. It can get old real fast. Plus, this ward is not exactly super friendly and that can only add to my lack of interest. I’m not going to go inactive, my testimony is too real for me to let that ever happen, but it can make one enthusiasm about Sundays diminish.

There is a lot to think about, but nothing to worry about. True. So very true.

All business

I have spent a fair amount of time recently with my new boss as we have traveled from one customer site to another. It has been really different for me because I am not used to the idea of working so closely with the person I work for. Norm is great person who always makes you feel like you are important part of the company and that you really are an appreciated asset, even though it may or may not be true. I have also been able to learn from him, not so much book smart but more street smart knowledge. For example, how to interact with customers, how to interact with coworkers, and how to see yourself as other see you. For example, somehow or another I was talking about how much I enjoyed cooking and Norm stated that girls probably really like that about me. I responded that so far I have had a difficult time getting any takers. What he said next was quite insightful. In a very appropriate way he mentioned that in office I appear to be all buisness and that if I was the same type of person outside of the office, he could see how that would be very intimidating. I was struck with awe when he said this and realized that it was true.

It has always been very difficult for me to grow close enough to anyone who I have not known for a long period of time. Almost anyone that I do know is at first built upon a very shallow foundation and only after I trust them and trust myself around them, do I open up enough to allow any real relationship to form. So, I was thinking one of two things. Either I keep doing the things the way I have (all business) and expect the same outcome, or I start to change little things here and there and look for the ways that the outcome is changing based upon my previous experience. Now that is a lot easier said than done. I honestly don’t know where to start, but I suppose that is the majority of the battle. My father repeatedly tells me to ask people about themselves and that most people are more than willing to oblige. I think I recall reading the same idea in Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Make Friends and Influence People.” Perhaps this calls for a reread.

Honestly, I’ve been very lonely this past month and I have not been really happy. My school work has suffered, and I have skipped out on my early morning class a number of times during the past few weeks. I come home to dark and empty house almost daily because of differing schedules between my roommates. I am on campus at school only twice a week at night besides my calculus class in the mornings. I work almost always on my own when I’m not actually in the office. I don’t know why but my life always seems to turn towards this style of living, of course, not by direct choice. Going along with the fact that my life appears to be pure “business” I was thinking that I would, in all humour of course, make an actual paper application to go on a date with me (plagerized from The 100 Board at BYU). Not that I have people even asking but just for fun. Most likely won’t do it because of course I don’t what to continue in that method of living, but life I said, just for fun. I have often thought that this will be one of the trials I will have to deal with from here on out, but then today at church in priesthood meeting, someone mentioned something interestng. It was as follows. We always try and compare ourselves and out trials to the pioneers. Some may say they had it harder, other may say, we have it harder. Although hard to specifically determine, most of the trials of our day exist becuase of our own devise. We have so many options to choose from. To watch this on TV, to let such influence our lives, to become passive towards what ought to be at the forefront of our lives. These trials exist because we let them, but we have a choice. I think most of my so-called “trials” are as such. They exist becuase of my own devise. Hope that makes sense to someone besides myself or at least that I’ll understand my ranting in years to come when/if I ever read this again.

Moving on… I really wanted to hang Christmas lights outside on my apartment yesterday but it was all stormy and cold yesterday so I might have to put that off until next weekend. Plus, I realized that I am going to need to find a really tall ladder instead of trying to scale up the side of the wall. Let’s hope I don’t kill myself in the process. I’ve been cooking again as a way to put off doing my homework and I’ve really enjoyed using all of my cooking items. My cast iron fajita grill was fun to use and I plan on breaking out my wok later this week. I even made a coffee cake this morning and while it tasted just fine, it was not a fluffy as the one my sister always made. I’ll have to get that recipe from her becuase the one from Better Homes and Gardens just isn’t the same.

One of my roommates, Josh, went to China for the weekend. He goes to buy clothing and jackets that are priced really high in the US for close to nothing over there (Columbia, etc.) and then sell them for 300% markups. I just hope he makes it past customs with everything he plans on bringing back with him. We shall see how it goes for him and maybe next time I’ll tag along. Nothing more to report or to comment on for now except that I am excited to go home again for Thanksgiving and being able to fly instead of driving. That way I can spend like 5 days or so with them there. Plus I even think my sister is working on setting up a blind date for me with someone she knows who is coming out to BYU in the winter. What can you say, I’m open for any options.

You need people.

The worst part about having a journal or a “blog” is that when you find that you have not added anything to it in what has previously been a consistent fashion, it is difficult to find something to write which has an actual content or worth. I am sitting here after having listening to my accounting class lectures the computer and trying to convince myself to go to bed. Who knows how well that will pan out.

I must mention that life is going somewhat better. During the past number of weeks I have noticed that I appear to be really negative. Now, while that might not be entirely false, I think I have made it sound a lot worse than what it actually was. Over the past two weekends or so I have gone out to eat with a few friends more for the social aspect than the hunger aspect. Red Robin, Mimi’s, and Ottavios have had to deal with us peculiar people. I even think we had the same guy waiter both times at Mimi’s and I am sure he hopes we won’t come back. Let’s just say we were the really loud ones. During these times, I have realized the following three what could be considered facts. You need people. People need you. You need to be needed. Read into that what you want. I think that is part of why marriage is so popular. Working and striving and sacrificing for something more than yourself (spouse, children) helps make it all worth it.

I have been trying to find focus in my life recently as well. For some reason or another I tend to lose it fairly frequently. I think next time I check under the couch cushions more often. I cannot get A’s in my classes and do well as work and dedicate the needed time for exercise and a social life. I just cannot do it. So, I’ve been trying to just relax a little more, recognize that I’m only 23 and need to just calm down and enjoy the experience. When I stop to play the piano and lift weights for just a few minutes and just I feel a lot better. Amazing what things like that can do. My family has really helped me remember this. Thanks to them, especially my mother. She is great. Love her tons.

We had our cleaning checks for our apartment recently and some of my roommates were a little worried about our paint job. I wans’t there when they came, but from what I heard they basically stated that they usually don’t let tenants paint, but that we did a really good job and that it looks nice. I must agree, it is actually kind of feels like a home that I want to return to at that end of every day. You just need a little color in your life, makes all the difference in the world.

I’ve been enjoying my job. I like going to the office and seeing the same people and having them say Hi everyday and at least sound excited to see you. I am learning a lot, not only about techincal things, but buisness skills and people skills. Everyday is not perfect, but overall, I think I could stay with the job for the remainder of my time here in Utah.

I know this so-called entry probably has been quite lame, I just don’t have much to add here and I am again boring myself so I think I will just call it quits and cut my losses. Good night.

PS – I forgot to add that the weather here has been crazy warm. The past few days have been sunny and around 72 degrees. The middle of November and 72. Never would have thought. We have to open the doors and windows at the office and turn on box fans just to make it bareable. Tomorrow it is supposed to be back to normal at around 40. I’m definately not complaining, but just thought I’d make mention of it.