Bizarre Bradyisms

Relationships

While I plan on keeping this posting private for a long time to come, I thought that it would be important to me to keep a record of the recent happenings that have been occurring in my life. I need to explain that I have never a had a relationship of any kind with a girl up to this point in my life and have always been very reserved as to trying to change. The reason as to why is (at least I believe it be) that I have always been waiting for the situation to be perfect and that I have wanted to be completely in control of the situation. It has not been until recently that I truly realized and accepted (even though I have been telling myself this for some time) that it will never happen like that. So, things (my life) have been changing (especially during the past week).

A friend of mine from last year name Nicki who I took out on a couple simple dates arrived back from home last week to begin the new school year. She called me up to say hello and we ended up just spending some time together and seeing a movie at the dollar theaters. It was nothing extravagant, but it was nice. Later that week I called her and invited her to see my new apartment and cook dinner together. Afterwards we just sat and talked for an hour or so about life and goals and our personalities. Again it was simple, but, for a lack of a better description, it was comfortable. Then, through a various number of phone calls during the next few days, we ended up spending the evening together tonight on campus just visiting a few buildings and looking at the campus from one of the balconies. Afterwards we went home and watched a movie together (O Brother, Where Art Thou?).

I have heard through other people how awkward this can be when a relationship is beginning to develop and both of the parties are unsure of how the other feels and what the next move should be. So during the entire movie, I recognized how both of us were playing off of each other’s actions (touching each other’s feet, etc). Now, to be completely clear, I am a person who tends to take things a bit slower than other becuase I am afraid of the consequences that can occur when one makes a spur of the moment decision; even though I thought about holding her hand, I just didn’t feel that it was appropriate just yet. She, however, decided to move things on at least a little more and rested her head on my shoulder. It was nice and that felt good and was an appropriate next step. While I may tell myself that I feel kind of like a chicken for having her make the next move, inside of me it doesn’t bother me at all.

So, I don’t know if we can be classified as dating each other, but I would assume it to be rather close to such a definition. I don’t want to have to have a DTR (Define The Relationship) becuase that just seems so superficial and not very personal, but making sure we understand how the other person feels is a good thing and can help to avoid possible confusion.

Do I like her? As I am sitting here writing this trying to be able to honestly answer that question I want to say, “I don’t know,” but something inside of me says that I in fact do. I am going to go with that answer, “Yes, I do.” To what extent? That is yet to be detmined, but at least I do know that I like how comfortable I feel around her and how I don’t have to try and be someting more than what I am. No one will probably ever read this for years to come, but at least I will know and for now, that is what is important. Wish me luck.

I’m an Uncle (Again) and Moving Day

My Dad called me on Monday night to report that my sister Eliza went into the hospital on Sunday just before midnight to deliver her baby and that she had spent that entire next day giving birth (~20 hours, killer). She eventually had to have a C-section because the baby was ready to come and it just wasn’t going to happen on its own. So, I think it was just before 8:00 PM when Kambria Fairbanks was born. I am so excited for her because she has been ready to be done with being pregnant for a whole month now. (Congrats Eliza!)

On to less important things. For the past couple of days there has been personal items of various people thrown all about our apartment because new people are moving in and I’m moving out. It has has been just a mess. One person who is eventually going to take my place has even brought all of his stuff over already (because he was kicked out of his other place already) and it is just all sitting on our deck and front room. Or at least it was my deck and front room. I don’t live there anymore.

I found out from Josh that my new apartment was emptied out and ready for me and my stuff so I went there after work to verify it and lo and behold, it was. So, I raced home, started packing all of my stuff in the car, and went to drop the first load off. Then back again to fill (and when I say fill, I mean fill) the car once more and drop it off. By this time it was about 9:00 and I was dead tired, I didn’t have anything unpacked at the new place, so I slept in the old bed.

Just for future reference I highly recommend not trying to move by yourself. A few boxes of books almost fell apart on me in the process. The next morning I was still pretty tired but got up and filled my car once again and dropped it off on my way to work. So, that’s three car loads. Dang do I have a lot of stuff.

Cleaning the old place was not fun, because I was assigned the oven and one guy I lived with just didn’t know how to cook and then clean up after himself, although he has been gone for a few weeks now. I began to unpack enough to at least have someplace to asleep but fell asleep in the process so I had to finish this morning.

I really like how big my room is and I think I am going to be able to really do well this semester having someplace I can go to focus and study. I’ve got high hopes for what I’ll be able to accomplish and let’s just say I’m feeling pretty dang happy.

PS – I know I’ll also enjoy being able have my bed closer to the ground (inches) instead of 2 feet high so I can have some storage space.

Me and Mount Timpanogos

I came home after work on Thursday, looked up at the mountains, and realized that the summer was almost over and had not yet gone camping this year. I had always wanted to hike to the top of Mount Timpanogos, but it never seemed to work out so that I could go with some of the groups that made their way up there. So, I went.

I threw all of my stuff together that night, took it all with me to work on Friday, and left from there directly to the trail head. I didn’t know how to get there because all of my efforts in trying to find a map online proved to me unfruitful. Nonetheless, I made it there at about 5:30 PM, having pulled a quick one on the forest ranger because I didn’t have $3 in cash on me to pay the fee (for which I have already made amends), put on my backpack that was loaded with my camping gear and started walking.

I don’t think words can describe how absolutely beautiful it was. So green. So calm. So fresh. So great. I made it about 4 or 5 miles up the mountain to what is called Hidden Lake before it got too dark and decided to camp there for the night. I slept next to a small pod with wonderful view of the mountains. Although I was very tired that night, I had trouble sleeping because my mind just wouldn’t stop racing. Also, I am sure that the added noises of some animal eating grass and drink out of the nearby pond multiple times during the night didn’t help. I did try and scare it off my making loud noises, but instead it responded with even scarier noises. So, I just slept with my 5 inch knife unsheathed and in my hand.

At 6:00 am in the morning, I woke to a beautiful sunrise, had a nice small breakfast and was packed and on the trail by7:00. By around 8:00 I had seen a number of other people coming back down the trail or passing me on their way up as I moved along slowly with my ~35 or 40 pound pack. It was nice to hear that I only had about ~2 hours left to reach the top because I was already running low on water and was having to ration out what I had left.

Finally, I reached the top at around 9:30. What a wonderful, overwhelming, and breathtaking sight. I was just blown away by how beautiful it all was. I took my fair share of photos, including proof that I took my whole pack all the way to the top just for kicks, and started on my way back down at around 10:00.

During my descent, I met a man named Frank who was (if I did my math right ~29 years old) who was afraid of heights and made it up to the peak as a personal goal. He was going down at about the same pace I was, and so I ended up going down almost the whole 8 miles with him as company. I ended up letting him go on ahead with about 1.5 miles left because I had run out of water and was getting too hot in the sun. So I stayed and cooled off in the mist of a large waterfall, dipped my hat in the stream, whetted my face and neck, and slowly stumbled the remainder of the trail anxious to find some drinkable water. I have decided that my next investment will be a water filter, because water is just too heavy to carry all that you need for a 2 day trip. Plus, fresh mountain water has got to be great.

At around 2:00 PM I was driving out of the parking out exhausted but every excited with myself for having accomplished what I did. I will never be crazy enough to pack the whole 40 pounds to the top again, but I must admit that staying away from that trail (no matter how stiff I was) is impossible. I loved the trip and enjoyed the quiet time on my own, for it gave me some time to just relax and think a few things over. Anyways, I would recommend this to anyone at anytime.

Well, here are some of the better pictures of my experience which I feel have to be shared.

A Bit Depressed

A few job possibilities that I was hoping for have all fallen through in the past couple of days and my first reaction to it all was quite extreme. I got upset and a little angry but mostly frustrated. When I received the information that the last one fell through I had to get up and walk around the campus of my current job to relax. I know that I have a good job right now and that a lot of students my age would be happy to be getting paid what I do (especially in a college town like Provo), but we all know that I am impatient and want better things in life right now instead of waiting for the proper time for things to happen.

So, to get my mind off of things last night, when I went home, I started packing all of my stuff into boxes for when I move into my new place. The funny thing is that I still have almost two weeks before my contract ends and the new one to begin. Having boxes stacked up to the ceiling in my apartment hallway is really an odd site. I am really amazed that I was able to fit so much into such a small bedroom. Not exactly a fun activity, but kept me busy.

Today however was a better day, not great, but better. Same old stuff at work, but I have been keeping my self busy putting the final touches on the new internal website/portal/knowledge base/wiki that I have designed and put into place. A lot of people really like it and it is fun to be able to hack together other people’s code to do what I want it to do. I think we will launch it next week on Monday.

Still a little bored after work again, I finished packing everything I could that I don’t need in order to live, updated my resume a bit, sent it out to some other companies, and played with the code here on my blog. Talk about the exciting night life, huh.

PS – I highly recommend the movie ‘V for Vendetta’ (Clean Flicks Version). I saw it this weekend and wow, an amazing movie, one of the best I have ever seen (compares to ‘Equilibrium’). Go watch it.

Shattered

So I was thinking yesterday that although I have enjoyed this summer and not having to go to school and worry about homework was very enjoyable. However, I realized a few things. First of all, I have spent a lot of money this summer. Now when I say a lot, I don’t mean a lot but a fair amount. To give myself some credit, the purchases have been, for the most part, good investments, but a large portion of them have not been necessary. I think it is because I have a good job that pays fairly well and other job possibilities with no real financial commitments besides myself. So, having this money, having a lot of free time, and not having anyone to spend it on, has caused me to try and fill this void with physical objects.

I keep thinking that somehow I will be truly happy with just one more toy. Intuition would suggest that to not be true, and I wish I would have realized this sooner, but sometime is always better than never. It is people that matter, it is realtionships that count, it knowledge that has worth. In the eternal perspective of things, I should already know that. I don’t mean to preach, but I think I am just trying to teach myself. From here on out, I will do that what has eternal value. Just give me some time and we’ll hope for the best.

On a side note, I made some good personal progress this week on a specific issue I have been dealing with for a long time. I feel really good about it and see a much better future.